I call it my own Black Tuesday…

January 31st was a pretty horrible day for me…

A few months back, I started noticing pain and a numbing sensation within the base of my right wrist. I didn’t really think anything of it because I thought it would eventually go away. I mean, it wasn’t truly bothersome unless I played tennis or played drums or piano for an extended period of time. And, well, that’s pretty important since I make a partial living from being a professional musician. Then, after awhile, it started really bothering me. So, I decided to go to Blue Ridge Bone & Joint’s walk-in clinic to see if something was wrong. The doctor there scheduled me for an MRI on the 31st…

Sure enough, probably from playing tennis, I had torn a ligament in the base of my right wrist. It’s not career-threatening, but it’s important enough for it needing to be fixed. And, the frustrating thing is, I have a three-month recovery period to look forward to…that means, no drums, no piano…for three whole months…

Talk about discouraging! I had to contact all my private students and cancel lessons until I’m able to play drums again. I thought Montreat College would have to let me go as an adjunct professor of Applied Percussion because I won’t be able to physically demonstrate playing techniques and styles as a teacher for the next three months there, but the LORD’s been ineffably gracious towards me…they decided to keep me on to teach more as a lecturer than anything else…

I started this week off thinking, “Everything’s spiraling out of control…nothing’s going my way…it just seems like I can’t ever catch my breath or get ahead…Satan’s after me again…”

But, then, by the grace of God and His Spirit, I heard this statement echo in my heart…

Since when do you have control, Peter? Is “Almighty Peter” the author of all things? Is the “Holy Peter” working for my ultimate good? Is Peter “LORD and Savior” of his life?

No. I’m not any of that. I don’t have control…

I had to sit down, I had to be still…

    “Be still, and know that I am God.
        I will be exalted among the nations,
        I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10 ESV)

No matter what I think, or may think I know about God, He’s never wrong. His Word is never wrong. He’s never incapable of goodness. He’s never unable to perceive the future and know my place in it. He’s never against me. He’s never trying to pull me down. He’s never punishing me.

Instead…

He’s always for me. He’s always loving me. He’s always planning my steps forward. He’s always allowing me to fall, and to fall hard, so that I can rise confidently and courageously as His beloved son. He’s always teaching me. He’s always disciplining me for my benefit to be about His good work. He’s always able. He’s always good. He heals. He’s always my ultimate refuge and strength in times of discouragement and suffering…

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18 ESV)

I believe I don’t have control. God does. I do believe He has a purpose for this suffering that’s been laid before me, and for suffering that’s a part of anyone’s life. I believe He’s got great things in mind, for you and for me. I believe He’s going to do it for His glory, not yours or mine. And, I pray…I pray I pay attention, that you pay attention, to what He has for us in times of suffering…that we give Him every single ounce of ourselves, every part of us, to relinquish our passions and selfish desires for His perfect ones…I pray that Jesus is all in you and me…is seen as all in us…is all…

And so, I trust this present struggle to Jesus. I will trust the LORD. And, I give Him all the praise and the glory in the midst of this trial. Praise Him that we’re not ultimately in control. Praise Him that He is!

    God is our refuge and strength,
        a very present help in trouble.
    Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
        though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
    though its waters roar and foam,
        though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
    There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
        the holy habitation of the Most High.
    God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
        God will help her when morning dawns.
    The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
        he utters his voice, the earth melts.
    The LORD of hosts is with us;
        the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
    Come, behold the works of the LORD,
        how he has brought desolations on the earth.
    He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
        he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
        he burns the chariots with fire.
    “Be still, and know that I am God.
        I will be exalted among the nations,
        I will be exalted in the earth!”
    The LORD of hosts is with us;
        the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
   

(Psalm 46 ESV)